By Joshua Adesogan

The confirmation after conception, that a baby is alive is to hear it cry, with tears trickling down its cheeks. If the baby does not cry, the doctor and nurses ain’t free and the news can not be classified as good yet, they begin to slap and inflict pain on the baby until that joyous but crying sound is heard.

To cut the long story short, if a new born baby does not cry at conception, it means that it passed away. It is believed by some , although not true scientifically* that the baby is expected to cry on arrival to earth because it signifies a form of welcome to a wicked world. It’s funny how the first confirmation of life, is pain and tears.

I went back to memory lane in 2018 and generally, I would have called it a good year but it can not be termed a perfect year; because some of my dear friends and colleagues lost either one of their parents or a loved one — an injury to one they say, is an injury to all.

Never been through such myself, but I could imagine a glimpse of how it felt. And I know what the pain was like, in my message to them, I said “I would not say life was fair for bringing such pain, neither is it justified that it was unfair to bring such pain, it is just what it is.”

At a point in our lives, we are all fated and bound to experience setbacks; it could be in form of emotional heartbreaks, failure, rejection or just name it, it will seem like the whole universe is against us and even tears can’t quantify the pain being felt — my dear friend I won’t say it is fair, it is just what it is. Stay strong, you will sail through it.

Perhaps the most dangerous kind of tear being shed and pain being felt, is that which is not seen by the physical eyes. It is that in which the heart bleeds gently and quietly; on the outside, such people look so perfect and happy, such individuals try to mask and hide the pain they feel, pretending like the pain was not there. But deep within, their hearts are crying and they are truly struggling to keep things from falling apart.

This could be happening to you reading this, but I just got a word to say. I can’t define the pain you feel, and I can’t say the universe is cruel also. It is just what it is. Here is what I can assure you; I can assure you that no storm lasts forever, and I can assure you that you are definitely going to be alright. But you just have to stop masking and hiding from the pain — it is high time you faced the pain squarely and embraced it, with time wounds heal, but you can’t heal from a pain without acknowledging the pain.

Acknowledge the pain, embrace the pain and don’t run from the pain. Just like the little child when born has to feel pain and cry before the good news of its birth can be announced, maybe you need to feel this pain and cry a little before your rebirth can be complete.

Life is never fair to anyone, life is just what it is. Rise above the pain, rise above the traumatic experiences and soar! And if you ain’t in the category of those going through this painful phase of life yet, stay strong for those going through it around you, be sure to put a smile on their faces, try to nurse their wounds. That makes us all humans, watching out for each other. Not to scare you, but sooner or later, we all get to go through this phase some day, yeah it is not fair, it is just what it is!

*Scientifically, a baby crying is mostly as a result of the non functional lungs while in the mother’s womb, being made functional after conception and used for breathing which is a little difficult being the first time, coupled with some other factors.

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